I'm back....

Okay, so it has been a while. And I could gladly give you all my good and legit excuses, but bottom line is I have seriously let other things distract and tempt me and the last almost 2 months have been another waist line roller coaster. Needless to say my biggest hurdle came on Sept. 4th when Matt Johnson passed away. His story is far too close to David's and It brought all of the hurt, and fear, and sadness rushing back. Not to mention one emotion I hadn't really faced yet...Anger. I have been really struggling with that since Matt's death. I had so justified that David died and so Matt wouldn't. Look at me trying to figure God out and put Him into my little box. I am glad to say though I am finally working through my emotions and crying, and crying, and then crying a little more over David. My heart is still breaking and honestly it breaks a little more everytime Tia or Laina give me what I lovingly refer to as a Daddy look.

But now for the truth about that roller coaster I mentioned earlier. I tried to stay off and to keep working toward my September 15Th goal of 15lbs gone, but I didn't make it and I am not even sure how far I was off. In fact I hadn't weighted myself since my last blog. I did get weighted however last Thursday at my very first First place For Health Bible Study meeting. I was disgusted and pretty shocked to be back at 241. I could hardly belief it, but it confirmed to me something I have always felt. I need accountability. I am so thrilled to say that I have that now. I am in a class of about 8 ladies and I am sadly the youngest and one of the ones most in need of this program. The bottom line for this whole system is putting God first in every aspect of life. It is all about nurturing the four sided person. And in the last week I have already found that it is much more then about losing weight. I am getting much closer to God and I am excited to do the study and to meet Him on a whole new level. I am quickly getting to the point where the weight loss is just gravy. I am so excited for what God is changing me for. He is going to totally make me over from head to toe from the INSIDE out. God truly is good and it is because of his grace and nothing more that I can say that yesterday I stepped on the scale and by just changing some eating habits 10lbs have once again left the building, and this time it is for good. This week I am trying to add back in some exercise. I will keep this blog updated because I am still holding onto my goal which is to weigh 150lbs or less by my 25Th birthday and heck yes I still plan on having a little shopping spree when God allows me to succeed in this goal!

Current weight 231!!!