It is well with my soul!!!

Okay, I am not trying to brag. I just belive this to be very true. I am so blessed! I say that like it's a new realization, and it kind of is. Some of you may know that last Sat. August 2nd, would have been David and my 5th wedding anniversary. All week leading up to it I was all poor me, I don't want that day to come, Dave isn't here there is NOTHING to celebrate, but my wonderful friend Bethany reminded me that just isn't true. I had 4 and a half amazing years of marriage and another 3 and a half of getting to know Dave and falling in love with him. I absolutely wish we would have had more time, and that doesn't mean I don't miss him indescribibly everyday, but I am grateful for what we had, and what I continue to have.
Our girls are crazy. Between the two of them one of them is going from 7:30am until around 9pm (more often then not even later then that.) But I love them. They both do different things that I know are all from David. Tia is just so pretty and her little belly is the cutest thing in the world. I am grateful that she has David's good looks and his sense of humor. I could have done without his temper, but she is just so clever and that is all Dave. Alaina may not look as much like Daddy, but look at those gorgeous ice blue eyes. Those are the first things I fell in love with about David. Alaina is also a cuddler and she has such a beautiful imagination, and she draws. She can sit for hours and just color and draw. Usually she draws little people that strongly resemble potatoes, but she gets better all the time.
As I am writting this I have the girls newest pictures in front of me. The cutest one is of them both. Tia is sitting on Alaina and Tia has a little tee shirt on that says "Little in size, Big in attitude." It could not be more perfect. Despite the nightmare that I am still working through. I am really ok with where God has brought me. And I can't help but think of that survey question that is on almost every survey...If you could change one thing in your life would you/what would it be? Aside from the obvious, I wouldn't change a thing. I love my girls and everyday is a new and exhausting adventure. I am excited to be going back to school and I am passionate about being able to help someone who is sick and hurting. If I can show them the love and sevices of Jesus, then I am happy to go back to school. I am so involved at church right now. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming, but it is how I like it. I love to feel needed. Life is not how I expected it to be when Dave and I got married 5 years ago and I would much rather Dave was still here sharing this life with me, but I know now without a doubt that God is in control and he absolutely will take care of us through everything. I just can not thank him enough!
Thank you Father God, for being so big and so good. Your plans are perfect and I trust you to love, guide, and protect me all the days of my life. Thank you for doing all those things for me. Help me to be more like you and to serve you in everything and in everyday. Thank you God! Amen!!!

Think before you eat!!!

Well, on the plus side I have not gained any weight. I am down to 233, but honestly I was hoping to be closer to 230. I'm not giving up though. I don't want my weight loss to happen over night. I know that if I loss that fast I will gain it back just as quick. So, I am okay with how I am doing. I really do need to eat better though. I bought meal replacement shakes and I have a ton of easy to fix low calorie lunches. The hard part is snacking and dinner portions. And quite honestly I think potatoes might just be the devil. It doesn't matter if they are fried, baked, mashed, plain, salted, or just turned into chips. I could seriously eat them all day. Oh and since this blog is totally honest, I need to confess what I did on Monday. Any of you reading who have kids may understand. It was the day from HELL. Both of the girls were acting up. Alaina had a smart comment for everything I said and Tia wouldn't take her nap, and I tired to make a few plans and they all fell through. It was just a terrible day all around. So what do I do to fix it? I finish off the last 1/3 of Drumstick ice cream. No, I don't recommend this and I'm certainly not proud of it, but I did feel a little better. That is until I went to Zumba the next Morning. Seriously, I just need to think before I eat.